I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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