Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
