guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
