Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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