U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my shit smells like andre
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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