So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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