I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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