This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
