do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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