youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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