I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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