You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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