saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
