i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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