I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
