i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
