Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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