And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize