Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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