Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
