Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
