I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
