It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
