I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
