My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
