no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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