That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
