So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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