To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
