It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
this hospital has no fireball
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
