So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
