had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
