so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
