still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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