is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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