are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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