discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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