Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just want to make out with him forever
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
