evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
