Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
