i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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