maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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