You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
