please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
