dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This baby is an asshole
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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