I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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