I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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