We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
