my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
