i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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