My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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