goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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