He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
