I wish i was in the wii world.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
