farters have to be the big spoon...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
organizing the empties. That sober.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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