Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
