Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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