I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
