I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
These tits shall not be calmed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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